Confession Time
Friends... I have a confession to make.
I'm not a real Salvationist.
I am a Soldier. I am whole-hearted in my enthusiasm for God and for the mission of the Salvation Army.
BUT.
Every now and then, in the midst of fellowship at a church I love, someone will say something that comes from being 4th-generation Salvationist and all of a sudden I plummet from 'a valued church member' to 'rank outsider'. I have great difficulty keeping in step (especially with that syncopated clapping). I don't have that instinctive understanding of 'how the Army works' that everyone else seems to. Every now and then I run up, full tilt, against some fact of Army life that I wasn't aware of - and everyone is surprised at my ignorance.
Let me point out that this picture doesn't really reflect reality. I'm a proud Sally and I'm in no way a rank outsider at church. My church loves its members wholeheartedly. But every now and then... oh my... it's like being in a foreign country and realising you've forgotten how to speak the language.
posted by Naomi at 12:01
7 Comments:
Just wanted to say...
I've been in the Salvation Army my whole life...and am like 6th generation Army or something crazy like that...
BUT..believe it or not..I can relate to what you're saying here, and have many times experienced that feeling of a "foreign country" or not quite fitting in...
It's a tough one to pull through as a newer member to the Sally Anne..but I'm glad that you have a church that you feel at home at and that you pull through those crazy Army moments anyways :)
Blessings!
2:07 pm
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2:08 pm
p.s real name is Esther Halsey..glad you found my blog! :)
2:08 pm
hey Ev,
fellow friend of Esther, and also Fellow Australian (in Melb)
Was great to read your blog, I think that those times that you really feel like tis not your church, use them as motivation, the salvation army, as a whole, is in a rut, and its the first-generations, like urself that will spur us on.
For me the people I most enjoy working with are the new (sorry if bad choice of word, can't think of another) Christian/Salvationist, they (u) seem to have experience God in copmletely differnt way to myself and others brough up int the church, and well I think that is a bonus for you, even though it may not feel like it
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that, well to me atleast, people like you are really cherished and valued unbelievably
oh feel free to check out my blog, cept note, I kinda steer away from the whole salvo political things, im more of a doer than a say-er, I have enough friends doing that for me
keeping blogging ;)
3:52 pm
Thanks Esther and Matt :) It's nice to get some sympathy and encouragement when I'm feeling ridiculously sorry for myself!
The 'outsider' syndrome is usually nowhere near a problem for me. I've always been blessed with progressive, accepting corps. But every now and then... ARGH.
Just to give some perspective, though, you know the 'Salvo pinup girl' I mentioned a few entries back... apparently she didn't grow up in the SA either.
(Man, she's gonna kill me if she ever reads my blog and works out I'm talking about her! LOL. I do mean 'pinup girl' in the 'perfect salvo girl everyone wants to be like', by the way, not the sleaze interpretation)
4:09 pm
More from Canada:
I have grown up the greater part of my life Army and my parents are both officers. But there are still moments where I feel as thought I too am an outsider looking in with confusion.
So don't fret it.
Let me let you into a secret.
The people who seem to know everything... ...they are just faking it.
Thats right.
They feel like outsiders too sometimes but are too afraid to admit it. Which means we are all in the same boat.
Peace,
12:38 am
gosh what an admission! :o)
I'm trying to think of something clever about genetic codes, inter breeding and healthy DNA - but it is too late!!
7:44 am
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